| The Hackers GS -Shropshire 2003 |
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| A sepia tinted memory from Will's Kodak Brownie |
The Hackers Matchplay Singles
Throughout the year The Hackers Matchplay Singles is also played, due to other committments we are still at the 1st round stage, so the competition will be extended to be played throughout the winter along with the Pairs Matchplay. The results so far are as follows :
1st Round
Russ Johnson bt Will Robertson 1st Extra hole at Worfield GC
Paul Stewart bt Mark Wilson 3&1 at Theydon Bois GC
Alan Johnson bt Paul Fraser 3&2 at Belfairs GC
Steve Hale bt Steve Pattison 6&4 at Castle Point GC
2nd Round
Chris Roberts bt Mark Johnson 3&2 at Worfield GC
Tony Bird bt Steve Foster 5&4 at Worfield GC
Russ Johnson v Paul Stewart = To be played
Alan Johnson v Steve Hale = To be played
July 27/28th 2003 - The Hackers GS Captains Day - Staverton Park
Golfers getting lost on country lanes, throwing up after dodgy curries & Golf Ball sales rising in
Pro shops it could only mean one thing !!!! Yes it's time for The Hackers Captains Day.
This year Chris Roberts hosted at Staverton Park GC, Daventry in what was another successful
weekend. The course & accomodation both being in good quality & the weather being warm & dry !!!
Played in the strokeplay format, to test the most erratic of Hackers, there was a fines committee to
implement any scores in double figures, 3 putts, 4 putts & the now infamous swearbox for on-course
obscenities !!!
At the end of the event the recently set up Ex-Captains Fund was bursting by £55.40. Plans of how
proceeds will be spent will be be disclosed shortly although Fozzie denied it was going on the 2 Dog
in a Bags meeting at Romford !!!
Anyway back to the Golf, after Day 1 both Paul Stewart & Fozzie both held Pole Position with - 1
scores of 88 & 89 respectively, while last years Order of Merit winner Mark Wilson brought up the rear
with a disastrous gross score of 122 !!!
Day 2 proved to be another interesting day with Russ Johnson in his 1st event of the year fighting back
with an 88 to claim 2nd place, while all the plaudits went to overnight leader Paul Stewart for finishing
level par after 2 rounds of strokeplay. While alas Mark Wilson finished bottom on + 44.
Other prizes to be won went to Will Robertson for The Eclectic Card, Putting Comp. & Longest Drive.
Alan Johnson won the surprise 6, Chris won Nearest the Pin, Fozzie won the Par 5 comp & finally
'Jack the Hat' won The Captains 4 Corners.
The final scores were :
Paul Stewart level
Russ Johnson +6
Will Robertson +9
Steve Foster +10
Steve Hale +11
Mark Johnson +20
Alan Johnson +20
Chris Roberts +22
Steve Pattison +27
Mark Wilson +44
May 18th 2003 The Spring Shield - Traditions GC, Surrey
Finally after a long wait The Hackers 1st Tourney of the year took place at the Peter Alliss & Clive
Clark designed Traditions course. In what was a poor field of only 7 players, we still went out & enjoyed
a tough course in immaculate condition. The morning kicked off with the usual late scramble to see
who was on time, and to see who had money to pay the £55 charge for Paul Fraser's last minute
withdrawal (please send cheque to Mark Johnson, Frase !!!!!) The 9 holes in the morning provided
everyone with a chance to see at least a chance of what to expect in the afternoon & everyone was
quite impressed, what we was'nt expecting was the wind to increase as it did making it far tougher than
the morning. The biggest benefit of playing in a small field is if you finish bottom (like yours truly) you
still pick up vital Order of Merit points !!! So all was not lost especially for Alan Johnson who only picked
up a paltry 10 pts in the morning to go out in the afternoon shoot 30 pts & finish 2nd, but top prize once
again went to Steve Hale who returned from his honeymoon in Barbados with a 4 shot h'cap cut to 18 &
still cleaned up with 32pts. The final placings were as follows :
1) Steve Hale
2) Alan Johnson
3) Mark Johnson
4) Will Robertson
4) Paul Stewart
6) Steve Pattison
7) Steve Foster
5-8th October 2002 The Hackers Tour - Costa Blanca
After completing our 1st competitive full season, what better place to see out the golf year in Spain.
Or so we thought !!!
Played over 3 rounds of Stapleford at 3 different courses, it was a chance to bank some last order
of merit points to finish ahead of Patty.
The 1st course played was Alto Real GC on the outskirts of Murcia.
This although not one of the premier courses in the area, was still pleasant & forgiving enough to get
us in the swing for the following 2 days.
No one rather embarassingly played to their H'caps and no suffered more than 'Jack' who finished with
a feeble14pts. no doubt still feeling the excesses of the night before in the E'scala Night Club !!!!
Full Scores as follows ;
1 Mark Wilson 31 pts
2 Paul Fraser 30 pts
3 Russ Johnson 29 pts
4 Steve Foster 27 pts
5 Chris Roberts 26 pts
6 Paul Stewart 22 pts.
7 Alan Johnson 15 pts
8 Steve Hale 14 pts
Nearest the Pin = 17th Chris Roberts
Las Ramblas GC 07/10/02
Next stop Las Ramblas, a course with a reputation for spectacular scenery & tricky carries over ravines
& river beds and boy was that true !
Trouble is no one told us what the marshalls were like, from the moment you tee off in what seemed
like 2 minute intervals, you are being harried to speed up. Now no one can abide slow play, as anyone
who has played with Patty can testify, but you can only go as fast as the group in front. The round
took a painfully slow 5 1/2 hrs & if Patty had been on tour, it would have taken 7 hrs. Not the best of
days to have a complete nightmare as Fozzie did equalling 'Jacks' lowest score of 14pts after only
one day.
Final scores =
1 Mark Wilson (again) 33 pts
2 Steve Hale 27 pts
3 Paul Stewart 25 pts
3 Russ Johnson 25 pts
5 Paul Fraser 24 pts
6 Chris Roberts 18 pts
7 Steve Foster 14 pts
8 Alan Johnson 10 pts. (Walked off after 10 holes, in protest at marshalls)
Nearest the Pin = 14th Russ Johnson
Villamartin GC 08/10/02
The final day of the tour & most of The Hackers had different preparations the night before, following
a meal all together in Torrevieja, Tour Leader Mark Wilson tucked himself in bed with a cup of cocoa,
a good book & Paul Fraser !!!! While Fozzie & Razor Roberts went for a late one in Sinatra's, crooning
the night away & trying to pull middle aged female ex-pats !!!
It was working as well because at the turn Fozzie had 21pts before the wheels fell off & Razor also
had 21 pts but bettered it with 22 on the back nine to win the day by a margin of 7pts from eventual
Tour & Order of Merit Winner Mark Wilson.
Final listings
1 Chris Roberts 43 pts
2 Mark Wilson 36 pts
3 Russ Johnson 32 pts
4 Steve Hale 31 pts
5 Steve Foster 29 pts
5 Alan Johnson 29 pts
7 Paul Stewart 27 pts
8 Paul Fraser 24 pts.
Friday 20th September 2002 - The Hackers Autumn Cup - Princes GC, Sandwich
For the first time ever The Hackers hosted an event with it's full complement of members.
Played at the historical Princes GC, it was the first experience of competition Links golf for many
of the hackers and a great experience it was too. The condition of the course overall being superb,
with the greens personally being the best and quickest I have ever played. It was also a fair test of
golf with the rough only punishing the bad shots and unfortunately there was enough of them !!!
After seeing the opening tee shots on the 1st tee, we all thought that we were in for a long and
high scoring day with a few 100+ scores, but everyone barring Russ pulled themselves round to card
respectable yet not briiliant scores.
At the end of the 18 holes Paul Fraser & Steve Pattison were level on 34 pts. with the 'Flying
Scotsman' Frase edging through on countback. It was a day when Frase pretty much
cleaned up winning the Longest Drive and the 9 hole afternoon pairs with Mark Wilson.
Paul Stewart marked his 31 pts. with the Nearest the Pin prize. As well though as the highlights we
always have a downside, and we know what they are don't we ? Old Razor Roberts is a good laugh
and a good player but he don't half get on my tits with his constant moaning. The message from the
rest of us Chris is lighten up and enjoy it for fucks sake !!! Patty also deserves a reprimand for
wanting to use his mobile on the course, showing no respect for club rules. Anyway the final scores
are as follows :
1st. Paul Fraser 34 pts (on countback)
2nd Steve Pattison 34 pts.
3rd Mark Wilson 33 pts.
4th Paul Stewart 31 pts.
5th Alan Johnson 30pts
Steve Hale "
Chris Roberts "
8th Tony Bird 28 pts.
9th Steve Foster 25 pts.
Mark Johnson "
11th Will Robertson 21 pts.
12th Russ Johnson 15pts.
Monday 05/08/02 The Hackers Matchplay Knockout
The Hackers teed off their inaugural Matchplay Competition in May.
Throughout the summer the various rounds have been played and
we have now got to the final stage. The final is to be played at a neutral course, which
should prove interesting as both the the finalists, Russ Johnson & Chris Roberts
break out in a cold sweat when asked to play away from Theydon Bois & Burnham,
their respective clubs !
The Hackers Matchplay Knockout 1st Round
Steve Hale bt. Paul Stewart 5 & 3 @ Three Rivers G.C
Will Robertson bt. Paul Fraser 4 & 3 @ Theydon Bois G.C
2nd Round
Alan Johnson bt. Mark Wilson 1 Hole @ Theydon Bois G.C
Steve Hale bt. Will Robertson 5 & 3 @ Castle Point G.C
Russ Johnson bt. Steve Foster 5 & 4 @ Theydon Bois G.C
Chris Roberts bt. Steve Pattison 8 & 6 @ Burnham on Crouch G.C
Semi Finals
Russ Johnson bt. Alan Johnson 7 & 5 @ Theydon Bois G.C
Chris Roberts bt. Steve Hale 1 Hole @ Burnham on Crouch G.C
| The 18th Hole at Ufford Park |
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| The scene of Fozzie's 'Van der Velde' moment after throwing away a 2 shot lead. |
Monday 22/07/02
Jack fights back to win 2nd Hackers Title
The Hackers Captains Day Event hosted by Will Robertson at Ufford Park Hotel
& G.C went to a sudden death play off today as Steve 'Jack the Hat' Hale was handed the title
on a plate after Steve Foster blew up on the last 2 holes and then again
in the play off. Overnight leader 'Jack' had all but given up after a day of
bad luck and inconsistent play, but when you play with The Hackers there is always a chance of
someone having a comedy hole !
After the first days play Jack found himself 1 shot ahead of Fozzie,
2 ahead of Russ Johnson and and a massive 11 ahead of joint 4th
placed Will and Steve Pattison. In what was windy conditions the 3
front runners put in composed performances to give them a strong start
for Mondays play, as everyone else struggled to come to terms with
the swirling wind and reasonably tough layout. Mondays play was nip and
tuck between Fozzie and Jack but Fozzie managed to hold on for form
the 9th until the 18th when in front of all The Hackers he thinned a
sand wedge out of bounds from 30 yards out. Of the also rans Chris
Roberts deserves a special mention for his gross 87 (nett 73) and
Mark Johnson for claiming The Captains Special Prize for a net 9 on
the four par 3's. Highlights of the two days was the excellent condition
of the course, the superb hotel facilities, service & food, and
the laugh we had on Sunday evening (who needs nightclubs & lap
dancers eh !!!) On the downside, Patty was a pain in the arse for most
of the weekend whinging about petty things and Will forgetting the main trophy.
It was also noted by the committee how Mark Wilson kept up an old
Hackers tradition by throwing up after a heavy night on the
beer and blaming it on a dodgy indian !!!!! Good work fella !
The Hackers G.S Captains Day Final Placings (36 Holes)
1st Steve Hale +14 (won on 1st extra hole)
2nd Steve Foster +14
3rd Russ Johnson +15
4th Chris Roberts +17
5th Steve Pattison +21
6th Will Robertson +26
7th Alan Johnson +28
7th Mark Johnson +28
9th Paul Stewart +35
9th Mark Wilson +35
The other Prizes to be won were
Nearest the Pin Alan Johnson at the 10th (Monday)
Longest Drive Chris Roberts at the 15th (Monday)
The Eclectic Card (best score from each hole over 2 rounds) Steve Foster Nett 63
The Surprise 6 (best stapleford score from 6 randomly chosen holes) Steve Foster 14pts. (Sunday)
Captains Par 3 comp. Mark Johnson Nett 9 (Monday)
Sunday 21st April 2002 - The Spring Shield, Farleigh Court G.C, Surrey
After what has been such a long close season, The Hackers finally teed off their
competitive season with the Spring Shield. Played at Farleigh Court G.C nr. Warlingham
on a gloriously sunny day, a 9 hole Pairs Combined Stapleford Competition was played in
the morning as a warm up for the afternoon's main event. The pairing of Paul Fraser &
Chris Roberts made the early running with spirited efforts from Mark Wilson & Will
Robertson before Steve Foster & Steve Pattison snatched victory by 1pt. on the
last hole with net pars to finish with a combined tally of 38pts.
The Spring Shield teed off in the afternoon after a rather enjoyable lunch and
notable performances came from Patty & Fozzie yet again, who seemed to benefit from
the run on the hard fairways, but the star of the show was Paul 'Sombrero' Stewart who
shot a near faultless 84 to finish with 45pts. off a 21 H'cap. The boy Paolo also
claimed The Longest Drive with mammoth Tee Shot at the 12th, before Chris Roberts
stopped him cleaning up at the 16th for Nearest the Pin, although 'Razor' was the only
Hacker out of 10 to finish on the green !
Other highlights of the day was the excellent food and hospitality by the staff of Farleigh
Court and the constant ribbing of certain Hackers namely Alan & Will for taking 2 hours
to find the course and Jack the Hat for not having a shower and bringing a
change of clothes ! On the downside the greens could have been in better condition,
being too slow and too hard, and Razor being too quick to have a moan but we should
be use to that by now, should'nt we !
H'Cap
1. Paul Stewart 45pts. 21
2. Steve Pattison 39pts. 23.7
3. Steve Foster 37pts. 23.2
4. Mark Wilson 34pts. 23
5. Russ Johnson 31pts. 17
6. Steve Hale 29pts. 22
7. Chris Roberts 28pts. 15
7. Alan Johnson 28pts. 26
9. Paul Fraser 26pts. 21
9. Will Robertson 26pts. 24
The Autumn Cup 07/10/2001 Stapleford Abbotts G.C - Abbotts Course
Played on a wet and windy day The Hackers Inaugural Competition was contested by
all of it's members barring Paul Fraser who was on Bin Laden Duty including Steve
'Jack the Sombrero' Hale who came out top with 42 pts.off of a 25 h'cap.
Other awards went to Russ Johnson for Nearest the Pin and Alan Johnson
who scooped both the Par 3 comp and The Most Shots in
One Bunker competition with 5 shots in the greenside trap at the 5th.
1st Steve Hale 42 pts. h'cap 25
2nd Will Robertson 34 pts. h'cap 24
3rd Paul Stewart 32 pts. h'cap 21
4th Chris Roberts 30 pts. h'cap 15
4th Russ Johnson 30 pts h'cap 17
4th Steve Foster 30 pts. h'cap 23
7th Alan Johnson 28 pts. h'cap 26
8th Steve Pattison 25 pts. h'cap 23
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