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Find old news & previous Hackers of the Month with our new page.
Back for the summer after a winter break, hackersgolf
interrupted a convalescing Russ Johnson after his recent fall
from a garage roof !!!!
Meanwhile for old profiles click on the archive section.
June - Russ Johnson
Full Name - Russell Alan Johnson
D-O-B - 15/1/72
Fave Course - Turnberry (Ailsa)
Course you'd most like to play ? - Augusta
If money were no object what clubs would you use ? - Money is no object &
i'm happy with my T-Zoid EZ's !!!!
Who will win US Open ? - Tiger Woods
Who will Win The Captains Day ? - Chris Roberts
Fave other sports ? - Football & Cricket
Fave Film ? - Battle of the Bulge
Fave TV ? - Alan Partridge
Fave Music ? - Anything loud & noisy
Fave Karaoke Song ? - Born to be wild
Worst Karaoke Song ? - 'Razor' singing Ronan Keating's You say it best
when you say nothing at all !!!!!
Fave Birdie ? - Kylie Minogue
Best Ever Score - 81 over Theydon Bois GC
Ideal 4 Ball ? - Ian Botham, Nick Faldo & Seve
Which golfer do you most admire ? - Seve Ballesteros
Fave Brand of Ball ? - Titleist NXT Tour
Whats your golfing pet hate ? - Slow play & cheating
Funniest thing seen on a course ? - Choose anyone from Patty in car park at
Theydon Bois, Patty in bunker at Hartswood or Patty hitting club house at
Castle Point !!!!!!!!
| 'and now for one night only singing steppenwolfs |
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| 'Born to be wild' Russ Johnson !!!!!! |
September / October - Mark Johnson
This month features 'Reds' No.1 son Jonners answering the infamous hackersgolf 20 questions.
Full Name - Mark Edward Johnson
Date of Birth - 22/03/70
Fave Course Played - The La Cala Resort, Costa Del Sol
Course you'd most like to play - Augusta
If Money were no object what clubs would you use ? - Jacobs Mint !!!!
Fave other Sports - Football & Cricket
Fave Film - Bladerunner
Fave Music - Queens of the Stone Age & Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Fave T.V - Phoenix Nights & The Office
Fave Birdie !!! - My wife Sharon
Fave Karaoke Song - Me & Russ' version of 'Born to be Wild' & Fozzie doing
'Addicted to Love' circa 1991.
Worst Karaoke Song - 'Your Song' by Razor Roberts
Best Ever Score - 83 over Belfairs this Summer.
Who would make your ideal fourball ? - Bill Hicks,Julian Cope & Patty
because your guaranteed of getting money off him !!!
Who will win The Hackers Tour - Russ
Fave Brand of Ball - Top Flite Hot XL
Funniest thing seen on a course - Seeing Dad hit his
drive 30 yards straight into a Rabbitt Hole.
Who will be top Players in Ryder Cup - Tiger & Padraig Harrington
Should the Captains be able to change their teams ? - No
Where should The Hackers go on tour for 2003 - Switzerland
| Black Rebel Motorcycle Club |
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| always on Jonners car stereo - No wonder no one ever wants a lift from him !!! |
| Jonners Fave Film |
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| Dingy, Dark, Depressing are we getting the message ! |
Jonners' Hackers 2002 Competition Record
The Captains Day - Ufford Park 36 Holes + 28 7th
The Autumn Cup - Princes GC 25 pts. Joint 9th
The Hackers Guide to the Costa Blanca
We are now finally approaching that wonderful day when The Hackers get a 'late pass' from the 'other arf' pack a few clean pairs of pants & socks (remember this please Jack !!!) and head off for foreign fields for The Annual Tour.
After competition that rivalled recent Ryder Cup Bids, The Costa Blanca won through as the hosts defeating offers from Skegness & Belgium. So in preparation for this 4 Day Event please enjoy The Rough Guide to The Costa Blanca.
With it's popularity rising rapidly The Costa Blanca (or White Coast as it is known in translation) is now challenging The Costa del Sol as Spain's premier golf region. South of Alicante new courses are being developed in keeping with the property boom that see's 1000's of ex-pats leave the poor weather behind for sunnier climes. The three courses on The Hackers Tour rota are Alto Real, Las Ramblas & Villamartin.
Alto Real is based North West of Murcia and has a combination of hilly and flat holes with the superb mountain background. Designed by former Ryder Cup player and The Belfry course architect Dave Thomas it is an excellent layout with superbly manicured greens and fairways.
Las Ramblas is renowned as a spectacular course over rocky terrain and again a mountainous background. Las Ramblas means 'old river beds' so you've been warned to take an extra box of balls away as you'll more than likely need them. Another recommendation is that you hire a buggy as it is quite hilly !
The final course is a Villamartin. This is the oldest course in the area being opened in 1971 and among it's accolades is that it has hosted The Spanish and Mediterrean Opens in the past. Once again the layout is full of undulating fairways and fast greens but they are reputed to be more forgiving than Las Ramblas.
Other courses in the area consist of Real Club de Golf Campoamor, La Finca, Alenda, Alicante & Bonalba.
As well as the golf the region has the weather, beaches and plenty of nightlife. The Palmera Beach Hotel is situated on Palmera Beach a few minutes north of the lively Torrevieja and with it's own Irish Bar and Swimming pool will keep The Hackers entertained. (No Michael Barrymore jokes please !)
Torrevieja's reputation as 'Blackpool with sunshine' is a little unfair but if you like your home comforts there are plenty of Irish & English Theme pubs with Sky Sports and home beers to keep you comforted, the pick of these being Paddys Point, TheWorlds End, The Waikiki & Hill 17. As always any Hackers Tour venue would'nt be the same without a Karaoke Bar, so following in the tradition of Le Bleu Parakeet, you will find Razor, Fozzie & co performing at Sinatra's, The Neptune & Bar Carlos.
With so many clubs and bars in Torrevieja it is well worth mentioning that if you want to go to a club, go to one that says it's a disco like Pacha & KKL. The one's that say they're Nightclubs are knocking shops ! But if you want to go a 'nightclub' I have it on good authority that La Scala, Eden Rock and Nancy's are worth visiting with the going rate at 50 Euros per hour !
With the weather averaging 70 degrees F and only 5 days rain in the winter months, we should be in for a good time.
| The Costa Blanca |
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| scene of booze, birdies & bogies |
Useful Website links
| Villamartin |
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| 8/1 'Red' sticks a Top-Flite in the lake |
| Jack the Hat |
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| Deadly with his 5 Wood ! |
August - Steve 'Jack the Hat' Hale
After clinching his 2nd Hackers Title, hackersgolf disturbed
'Our Jack' when he was half way through an Indian to pose him the famed
hackers 20 questions.
Full Name - Stephen Lee Robert Hale
Date of Birth - 03/07/75
Fave course played - Castle Point G.C or Burnham on Crouch G.C
Course you'd most like to play - The Augusta National
If money were no object what clubs would you use - Callaway Steelheads
Who will win The USPGA - Fozzie's fave David Toms
Who will win The Autumn Cup - Russ Johnson
Fave other sports - Football & Cricket
Fave Film - Pulp Fiction
Fave T.V - Auf Wiedersen Pet & Channel 5 porn !
Fave Music - Eminem
Fave Karaoke Song - Eminem 'Real Slim Shady'
Worst Karaoke Song - Any Boy Band song
Fave Birdie - Kelly Brook
Who'd make up your ideal 4 Ball - Chris Roberts, Tiger & Bruce Forsyth
Best Ever Score - 87 over Castle Point !
Golfer you most admire - Tiger Woods
Fave Brand of ball - Top Flite XL
Funniest thing you've seen on a course - Seeing 'Red' take 5 out of a
bunker last year or Fozzie rushing off the 18th green at Langdon Hills
before putting out to go for a dump !
Whats the first song you will sing on Hackers Tour to Spain - i'll borrow
'I saw her standing there' off Fozzie !
| Eminem 'The Real Slim Shady' |
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| Won't the real 'Jack the Hat' please stand up , please stand up !!! |
Jack's Hackers Competition Record
2001
2002 The Captains Day 1st +14 won on 1st extra hole
2002 Knockout The Autumn Cup 1st 42pts.
2002 The Spring Shield 6th 29pts.
Matchplay 1st round bt. Paul Stewart 5 & 3
2nd round bt. Will Robertson 5 & 3
3rd round lost to Chris Roberts 1 hole
July - 'Will' Robertson
In honour of this month's inaugural Captains Day Competition, hackersgolf
joined Captain 'Will' (or is that Anthony Reginald !!!!) for a couple of pints.
Full Name - Anthony Reginald Robertson
Date of Birth - 25/06/34 BC (before closing)
Fave Course played - Theydon Bois G.C
Course you'd most like to play - Intercourse !!!!!!
If money were no object what clubs would you use - Fozzies, because you
would'nt need the fairways.
Who will win The Open - Ernie Els
Who will win the Captains Day - Russ Johnson
Fave other Sports - Snooker
Fave Film - The Godfather
Fave T.V - Keeping up appearances
Fave Music - Vera Lynn
Fave Karaoke Song - Danson joue contre joue !
Worst Karaoke Song - Danson joue contre joue ! & Your Song
Fave Birdie - Nora Batty
Best Ever Score - 84 over Belfairs
Who would make your ideal fourball - Gary Player, Jack Nicklaus & Ernie Els.
Which Golfer do you admire most - Gary Player
Fave brand of ball - Whatever I find
Funniest thing you've seen on a course - Seeing Russ in shorts.
Ambition for 2002 - To reach 2003 !!!
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| Nora Batty - Will's Top Totty |
Will's Hackers Competition Record
2001 - The Autumn Cup 2nd 34pts.
2002 - The Spring Shield Joint 9th 26pts.
The Knockout Matchplay 1st round bt. Paul Fraser 4 & 3
2nd round lost Steve Hale 5&3
| BBC's Alex Hay or is it Will & his cat Tiddles |
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Sunday 23/06/02
Two more of the Hackers booked their semi-final places this week as Russ Johnson and
Chris Roberts notched up convincing victories at their home clubs. On Thursday Chris
defeated Steve Pattison by a huge 8 & 6 margin at Burnham GC, while Society secretary Russ
beat Steve Foster 5 & 4 at Theydon Bois G.C. 'Razor' was definitely in top form as he eventually
finished with an 83 to Patty's 104, whereas Russ took 87 shots to Fozzies 97. Russ seemed
to be in control throughout as whenever Fozzie threatened to win a hole the reigning Morgan
Bowl Matchplay champ at Theydon would pull out a special shot to keep up the big lead built
by Fozzies mid round nightmare where Russ won all 5 holes from 5-9. Russ will know play
Dad Alan in the semi's while Chris must wait to see the winner of
the Will Robertson & Steve Hale clash before he resumes his challenge.
June - Paul Fraser
Following his withdrawal from this years Captain's Day Event. We caught
upwith with the 'Flying Scotsman' to find his excuses and a little more!
Full Name - Paul Gavin Fraser
Date of Birth - 03/09/69
Fave course played - Ilfracombe G.C, North Devon
Course you'd most like to play - St. Andrews or The Belfry
If money were no object, what clubs would you use ? - Callaway Steelheads
Who will win The Open - Darren Clarke
Who will win Captains Day - Russ Johnson
Fave other sports - Football, Darts & 7 card Stud !
Fave Film - Halloween
Fave Music - Heavy Rock or Glenn Miller
Fave T.V - Take the High Road
Fave Karaoke Song - Don't come home too soon - Del Amitri, Scotland's
World Cup song in 1998
Worst Karaoke Song - Your Song by Chris 'Razor' Roberts
Fave Birdie - Heather Graham (Felicity Shagwell in Austin Powers)
Best Ever Score - 84 over Ruxley Park, Orpington this year
Who would make your ideal four ball ? - Brucie, Tarby & Ronnie Corbett
Golfer you most admire - Greg Norman
Fave Brand of Ball - Titleist HP Tour
Funniest Thing you've seen on a course - 'Reds' trolley taking off
on it's own as he was putting out.
Ambition for 2002 - To win a Hackers Event
| Yeah, Baby Yeah |
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| Felicity Shagwell - Frase's Fave Birdie, shame he's not known as Paul Puttwell |
Frase's 2002 Hackers Performances
The Spring Shield - Farleigh Court 26pts 105 Joint 9th
The Matchplay Knockout 1st Round - Theydon Bois v Will Robertson lost 4 & 2
| Fraser - We're doooooommed !!!!!!!!! |
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| I cannae putt for toffee ! |
May - Paul Stewart
In honour of his commanding victory in The Spring Shield, hackersgolf
caught up with Paul while his son Cameron was wreaking havoc at home!
Full Name - Paul Stewart (very imaginative!)
Date of Birth - 01/05/64
Favourite Course - Haste Hill G.C, Hillingdon, Middlesex
Course you'd most like to play - St. Andrews or Troon
Best ever score - 74 over Belfairs when I was 17 (8 H'cap)
Fave other Sport - Football
Fave film - The Deerhunter
Fave T.V - Never mind the Buzzcocks
Fave Music - The Doves
Fave Karaoke Song - 'That's Life' or 'Mack the Knife'
Worst Karaoke Song - I will survive
Fave Birdie - Natalie Imbruglia or Winona Ryder
Who will win Volvo PGA at Wentworth - Retief Goosen
Who will win The Captains Day - Chris Roberts (it might
stop him moaning !)
If money were no object what clubs would you use - Wilson
Fat Shaft Irons & Callaway Woods
Fave brand of ball - Callaway Rule 35 (hit ball so far i
lost it !)
Who would be your ideal fourball - Leon Trotsky, Fidel
Castro & Chris Roberts !
Which Golfer do you most admire - Lee Trevino
Funniest thing seen on a course - At Belfairs years ago a
friend scuttled it into a tree, bouncing off
& hitting some woman on the head.
Ambition for 2002 - To finish under 100 in every round
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| Gloria Gaynor sings 'I will survive' to The Hackers in Le Bleu Parakeet. Le Touquet April 2001. |
April - Steve Pattison
Hackersgolf webmaster interrupted Patty while caring for baby son Ben to ask 20 questions for our new feature.
Full Name - Steven James Pattison
Occupation - Re-Insurance Claims Manager/House Husband
Fave other sports - Football & Squash
Fave Film - A Few Good Men
Fave T.V - A
Date of Birth - 14/10/71 nything on the Fantasy Channel Fave Birdie - Kelly Brook
Fave Music - Most sixties & Pop Idol (especially Gareth)
Fave Karaoke Song - Russ & Fozzie singing 'Never gonna give
you up' it was so bad it was good.
Worst Karaoke song - Razor singing 'Your song' after the 50th
time you've heard it you wanna hear some-
thing different !
Best Course Played - Either Turnberry or Castle Point G.C
Course you'd most like to play - The K club or Sawgrass
Best Ever Score - 90 at Belfairs last summer
Who would be your ideal fourball - A round with some lovely birdies !
Which Golfer do you most admire - Tiger Woods
Who will win The Masters - Ernie Els
Who will win Spring Shield - Paul 'Steady' Stewart
What's the funniest thing you've seen on a golf course - Probably me
ending up the car parks of Castle Point & Theydon
Bois after wayward shots.
Fave Brand of golf ball - Titleist PTS Wound
Ambition for 2002 - To break 90 and not to come last in any events.
| Steve's golf idol |
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| Tiger stays on course as Steve puts another ball in a car park |
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